Overheard in Thailand


During training, one of the trainers asked each of us what we were interested in doing while we were in Japan. When it came my turn, I said I wanted to travel around Asia – that I was dying to go to Thailand some day. “It’s beautiful,” agreed the trainer. ” … but it’s not a great place to go if you don’t like being pestered.”

Thus, I give you:

Overheard in Thailand

The Little Chicks Say: “Cheap Cheap Cheap!”

Khao San Road Vendor #4: Cheap cheap! I give you good price. Where you from?

On What, Exactly?

Khao San Road Vendor #35: Cheap cheap! Where you from? I give you good price.

Hello to you, too!

Khao San Road Vendor #57:
Where you from? Hello? Where you go? You want? I give you. Good price! Hello? Hello?

No. Over there. Not here.

Khao San Road Tuk Tuk Driver #10: You need car? Where you go? Where you from?

Just Crossing the Street, Man …

Khao San Road Tuk Tuk Driver #32:
Where you want go? I take you. Come here. Where you from?

That’ll Actually Be Another 10 Baht …

Tuk Tuk Driver #57: Where you want go? I take you.
Asia-weary Tuk-Tuk Passenger: To the Grand Palace.
Tuk Tuk Driver #57: Grand Palace. Okay! (drives a few blocks, then pulls over) Hello. One hour, I take you. Where you want go? I take you ….
Asia-weary Tuk Tuk Passenger: No! Grand Palace! Fast fast! Now!
Tuk Tuk Driver #57: One hour. I take you [pointing to various locations on a map in the tuk tuk]. Where you want go? Cheap cheap. I take you on good tour.
Asia-weary Tuk Tuk Passenger: No! Grand Palace! Now! Fast fast!
Tuk Tuk Driver #57: Where you want go? I take you. Where you want go?
Asia-weary Tuk Tuk Passenger: Your mom’s house. Shut up!

Young Man, Someone Will Make a Man Out of You Here in Bangkok … Heck, It Might Even Be a Man …

Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: Hello. Where are you from?
English Teacher #1: America.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: What’s your name?
English Teacher #1: E.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: That’s my sister’s name! Where are you from in America?
Myself: New York.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: E, did you know that I’ve always wanted a girlfriend from New York in America whose name begins with the letter “E”???
Myself: No, I did not. My karate instructor boyfriend, Sean, might have something to say about that, though.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: Oh no!
Myself: Sorry.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap (turning to English Teacher #2): What’s your name?
English Teacher #2: Pepper.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: Pepper! You know, a bloke who wears glasses can only look a prat. But a girl looks sexy …
Pepper: Thanks.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: I’m in Bangkok with me mates on holiday. You know, I’ve never been away from mum and dad for more than 8 days when I went to a musical festival!
Pepper: Wow.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: I know! Are you girls coming to a bar with us later?
Pepper and E: NO.

Ao Lang Beach One-Liners

Ao Lang Beach Vendor #7: Cheap cheap! I give you good price! Where you from?

Ao Lang Beach Vendor #17: Where you from? Come look. Cheap cheap!

Ao Lang Boatsman #5: You need boat? Ko Phi Phi? Lanta? Rai Lay? I take you.

Ao Lang Beach Vendor #23: You like? You buy two? Black and white? Look so nice! Buy two – I give you good price. Cheap cheap!

Young, Fresh Burmese Beach Vendor: Where you from? You come back next year?

And now … the 2007 Thai Vendor Eloquence Award Goes To …

Ao Lang Flyer Distributor #10: Take my card – don’t break my heart!

*

This all said … later, after the snorkeling, swimming, sunburns and sea urchin:

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What it’s like to ride an elephant. My shoes, before they became covered in jungle cave mud.

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Jungle Life

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Vines and Invisible Critters

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Chillin after a hard hour’s work

Protecting a jungle temple by robbing its visitors blind … my friend, the monkey:

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After: dusty, muddy truck ride back to the bungalows and then one more $5 meal:

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… a much needed shower, a $8 Thai foot massage …

and then it was back to the kids.

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