Selections from a Recent Survey With Subtext


 

A survey I posted on myspace a couple of angry, chilly nights ago:

1. Do you wear a name tag at work?
I’m supposed to but I’ve been lazy. It never helps, anyway – with or without it, the standard bug-eyed response to telling students my name is: “Ehhhhh?”

2. What’s your favorite soap?
“Cow.” It’s just 99 yen and makes me sMOOOth.

6. What kind of dog do you have?
A snoop dog. What you think, fool?

7. What’s for dinner tonight?
I already ate – soba noodles with sesame dressing, steamed spinach and smoked salmon with steamed broccoli for a side. Buckwheat …! Buckwheat is in soba! And greens – oh, goody! Smoked salmon on top and a glass of orange juice – that’s nutrition!

… this is not your stomach!

8. What is the last alcoholic beverage you had?
Lime chu hi at American Mike’s all-night karaoke birthday party.

9. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
Sent emails and photos to PCs back home before I knew for sure how much it cost – even the memory of that bill still hurts.

11. How long is your hair?
After 6 months of bad hair days, it’s to the middle of my shoulderblades – finally!!! No thanks to you, Mr. Scissor-happy stylist in Shinsaibashi.

12. Are you happy right now?
Well, someone did steal my bike this morning so I’m gonna have to cut someone. Luckily, cutting bike-stealers makes me happy.

13. What did you last say?
tetsudate kurete arigatou” to the police man who told me that without a bike registration they couldn’t do anything to help me find my stolen bike. Boo to the thief and boo to the used bike salesman last September who didn’t give me a registration slip. And boo to myself for being dumb enough to leave it parked for so long, even if it was locked. That’s why they make hairpins, after all.

*thank you for your help

16. Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?
My brother was far more inventive – he liked to say I came from a vine. Of course, he’s younger so he wouldn’t have necessarily known this for a fact, but that didn’t lessen the tears that stained my pillow at night … for who could ever love a Vine Baby????

24. What’s something fun you did today?
Trudged home from American Mike’s birthday karaoke party in at 5 in the morning because we’d missed Last Train and had to stay out all night … not that karaoke-ing it up wasn’t an incredibly awesome way to spend the wee hours or that it wasn’t terrific to see him and other friends again, but the all-night adventure ended in the 6:30 a.m. discovery that my beloved bike was stolen, which brings me back to the question – yes. That was SUPER FUN!

27. What do you think of when you hear the word “meow”?
Heifer.

34. Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing now?
It’s a ribbed turquoise colored V-neck sweater. And Muji.

36. What are you going to do after this?
Research no dairy/no grain diets. Download Firefox for Mac so that I can blog properly. Request some documents I need to renew my visa. Do whatever it is one does on a lazy Sunday night.

39. What is something you need to go shopping for?
A bike, I guess. Luckily, I have a day off on Tuesday so I’ll try it then.

47. Do you have any tan lines?
A couple – faint, from my Thai sunburn in October.

Sigh.

Who ever knew this man and I would have so much in common?

As it’s now Tuesday – and I’ve now downloaded FireFox which makes wordpress work a treat on my Mac! – I shall now head out, but with my ink and evil-flavored gum, just in case.

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